Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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