He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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