Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
