4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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