It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
