I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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