Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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