On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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