lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
