It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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