Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize