Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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