apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
