I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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