apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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