What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
