I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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