you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The Olympian is in my bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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