I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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