You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Randomize
