if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
