mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
