i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
