He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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