i just wanna soil my oats bro
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
