I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
