how can u be prego again
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
