he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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