yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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