I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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