maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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