I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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