I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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