i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
