It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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