I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
