no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
