if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
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HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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