Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
