if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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