he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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