Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
