Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
