I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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