a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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