Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize