Sry I called you an 8
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
