If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
