I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
