so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?