i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE