My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have aggressive nipples.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm