2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun