Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit