Got a toothbrush?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
