He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
