I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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