I don't usually arrange sex via text message
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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