She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
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What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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