Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I take back everything I said about communal showers
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
