I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
