Welp...herpes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
