apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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