and you said cock pushups were impossible
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
