We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
