somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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