Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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