so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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