Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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