I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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