It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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